This up coming Monday the 14th I will be taking a certification test for My CCNA, as required by my current coop. After that I will be going back to work, and working on Tuesday, however Tuesday night I am flying home so I can venture back to the area near Tri5 where I first introduced you all to Stella N. (a.k.a. LP from the last post) I will be meeting up with some of my close friends whom I miss dearly, and who I may need to lean on to help me deal with whats going on in my life and in my head.

Currently there are also plans to meet up with Stella Noche to just see each other over a cup of coffee. What will happen then? I cannot know for sure, I am sure we will talk about the small things like classes and work, maybe some of the people in our lives. Currently there is something I want to bring up to her, to at least ease my mind. I am not going to reveal what this is here, it is not bad it is not necessarily good, it just is.

My Love has been lost and I do not know what to do. In her place there is someone, who looks like her, sounds like her, sometimes acts like her, and could be her twin, but it’s not quite her. I do not know if she’ll ever be found, all I can do is let time run its course and maybe some day she will return. In honor of my love I will watch over the one in her place, and do what I can to help the woman I knew and loved be found again.

I get confused sometimes and mix the two of them up, and then think that I have found her, but I feel she will be lost for at least a while longer. What will come of this I do not know, all I can do is remind myself is it is out of my control, and even though I generally don’t like to admit it, but this is in the hands of fate right now.

I am thankful for a few things even if she never returns to me. We both grew a lot during our time together and helped each-other surpass many walls in our ways, which is good. I will always think of this as one of the strongest loves I have ever felt, if not the strongest. I will always remember that tree at Raven Rock, and the symbol,  even though I was afraid of losing you.

What you (my love) may not know, is that you are not the only one who is lost, I have been lost in an abyss that has existed in my own being for a few months now, I realized this as I rode around in the (fixed) steel chariot. I just drove and drove. I did not know where I was going, nor did I care. I saw a lot of society during this drive and I was able to take a step back, and gain some perspective on what was happening. You are lost, I am lost, and those to facts mean if we are ever to rejoin, we must both be find ourselves, and possibly each-other. What exactly does this mean? I do not completely know, but all I do know is it will take effort on both of our parts, and I hope you are willing.

We both have long paths ahead of us, whether or not they’ll intertwine once more we can never know, but it is possible and I will find solace in that. Que Sera Sera

This isn’t good bye, more of a see you later.
12/13/2007-3/21/2008 maybe again, maybe not, but it did exist once and the memories will always be there.

I may add more later I do no know. Wish me luck, as this part of my journey seems like it may be the hardest yet.

<March22-April5>
There has been so much going on lately its not even funny, I don’t really know what’s going on with anything right now, it kinda feels like a mix between the Superman Rollercoaster  and The Corkscrew. Not quite a Spiraling down situation but it’s more like Horizontal twister that moves accross the hilly plains of the country side,spinning whilst moving up, down, all around with no definite stop in site. So as far as I can tell I must sit back and see where this leads to, a bumpy road lies ahead who knows what the future holds for myself, Animalistic, here’s hoping for the best.

On top of that the steel chariot was out of commission for a brief period of time, in which a crucial piece of technology that helps it keep going, apparently an expensive piece of technology. Who knew how easy it was for cooling systems to blow a seal.

Also some of members of the inner circle have fell upon some difficult times, health problems, surgeries, and other such.

If there is any good that has come out of this its that I have been reacquainted with some close friends, whom I have dearly missed.

Your Emperor, will survive this, no matter what the outcome. All that there is left is hope for the future. So many can rely on me sometimes,but right now I think I need to reverse that, I am somewhat out of my domain, and I could use it.

Thank you to all those that help, someday I will let you all know what happened, just not today. You all need to know one thing, I don’t forget a promise (it may slip my mind from time to time but it is never forgotten) and I don’t embellish when I tell people certain truths. If I have told you something important or serious, I meant it, and I will stand by it. Know it, Learn it, Live it.

Thank you,
~Animalistic